Someday

Someday
The waiting will be over
We will have reached
our final destination
There will be no good or evil
No rich or poor
No black or white
No gay or straight
No young or old

We are all waiting for that day
The day we'll all be the same
The day I can be me
and people appreciate that
Respect me for who I am
Instead of hunting me
For just being who I am

The day there is no war or hatret
The day filled with love and light
We will get there someday
But, together, we will have to fight

Nothing just happens
Waiting doesn't soothe the pain
We must work together
Co-operate
Together we cán make that change.
Together
we will get there
Together
we will make it to that day.
Together
we will

someday.

I did it!

I did it
I took the initiative
Something I rarely do
Especially
when I'm not certain about it.
But I did it.
I saw you.
Once again you said my name
I was all shiny on the inside.
We touched
I was almost shaking
I saw you leaving
Quickly I took my bike
Cycling faster and faster to come closer to you
Only an inch between the two of us
And there Mr Doubt showed up
Should I
Should I not
I decided I should
So I increased my speed
Until I was next to you
Shy I said hi
we chatted a bit
nothing meaningful
just some casual comments
But still
I talked to you one on one.
After a couple of minutes
you asked me where I lived
and said you had to go the other way
We said goodbye
and I cycled in the opposite direction
with a huge smile
on my face
realizing

I did it!!!

Afraid

When I look into your eyes
I'm afraid of what I might see
Will it be love hate life
What will it be?
Will it be the sun shine in your eyes
Will it be you saying everything will be alright
Will it be a picture
of you and me
together?

When you look into my eyes
Are you afraid of what you might see
Whether it's love hate life
Or if it's really me?
Will it be the sun shine in my eyes
Will I be saying everything is alright
Will it be a picture
of me and you
together?

Can't answer for you
but i know
In my eyes
it's love
life
Sun shine
Everything will be alright
you and me
will be
together.

Empty.

It feels like something's missing
Something's missing on the inside
A hole is filling up
my soul
It's not an empty hole
It's a hole
filled up with pain
achy pain
burning pain
eating- away- my- heart pain
Time doesn't heal the wounds
On the contrary
Time makes the wound
grow larger and larger
Makes the pain grow
worse and worse
almost inbearable.

I used to believe
The power was inside me
If only I wanted to
I'd be happy.
But in some situations
You're not in control
How hard you try
You can't get in control
All you can do
is learning the lesson
Who knows
perhaps the lesson is
to not be in control?

But why does it take such pain
To find my ultimate happiness

How can I possibly feel alive
While I'm slowly dying
on the inside?

The thoughts of a confused mind.

Loving
Caring
Wanting
Breathing

Fighting
Crying
Losing
Drinking

Talking
Laughing
Writing
Winning

Cheating
Fucking
Breaking
Hating

Thinking
Dreaming
Opening
Looking

Depressing
Aching
Dieing.

Age ain't nothing but a number

God
my life has turned upside down
inside out
it's a nice sensation
not knowing what to come
but it also sucks
and i want to get rid of it
more than ever
A little more security
A little less hiding
Crying
Fighting
Screaming

Loving
Winning
Dreaming

I feel so much older
than the outside shows
Too bad tho
that people don't see that
The people I want to see it most
Don't see it
I can't just sit back and wait
Wait for the years to pass
Wait for me to become
officially grown up
i want so much
i'm in so much pain
just because of my outside
doens't show who I am
How I am
What I want
How I feel
Age ain't nothing but a number
What a bullshit.

Impossible dream

I saw your face again
God you're so beautiful
Saw your naked body
Wanted to take it in my arms
Caress it
Keep you in my arms
and never let go.
It's like a door slams
in my face
when I realize
I will never have you
You're so close
but yet
so far away.

I knew it all along
But it hurts so much
i know I will never have you
But then again
you give me false hope
every now and then.
You come stand next to me
Watch me
I pretend I don't see it
Cuz I'm too shy
Don't want to make a fool out of me
By seeing things
that aren't there.

You're on my mind
all the time.

You're my

impossible dream.

Choices

We all have to make choices
Whether we are young
or old
black or white
straight or gay

We all have to make choices
whether we want to or not
It's a part of life
whether you understand it
or not

Will we go to work
or call in sick
Will we say goodbye
or stay
while we know we really shouldn't
Will we lie
or speak true
Will we stay strong
or will we give in?

So many questions
So many choices
We make the choice
We believe is best for us
But what if

neither choise is good for you?

Why?

How can you be so selfish?
You tear our whole family apart
We wanna get out
Be you depend on us
How much we want to make a brand new start

We can't go anywhere
We're the only ones you've got left
I try so hard not to judge you
but I can't do but accuse you from theft

You took away our liberty life and love
Negativity all around you
I want to run so hard
But my feet are stuck to the ground
I don't know what to do

We are caught in your web
The harder we fight to get out
The harder it gets

Why?

An Everybody's friend

It is so easy
To say
that I do all those things
to be liked
to have people
praise me
to fill this gap in my heart

but really it's not
it's not because i am not loved enough
that i now want to be liked by everyone
that goal is unreachable
and it's not a goal
i want to reach
it's just that
i know that just a smile
a helping hand
can change someone's day

life

i just want to be
that positive change
make that difference
is anything wrong with that?

Stupid human beings.

Money is the root for all evil
Some say
My first reaction would be
Hell to the yes it is!
But when I think of it
is it?
What did money do wrong?
Money itself doesn't do nothing.
It's the people who make
the money evil.
The conclusion I'd draw
is
Men is the root
for all evil

Just made sure
The day you'll be rocking again
No matter where
No matter when
I'll be there.

Metaphore.

I was sitting at the bus stop
just a block away
only a couple inches away
from an intersection
cars waiting impatiently
to go to their next destination
i know by heart
which light will pop to green first
First the cars from the right
may go
others get more impatient
will it be my turn next?
More cars line up
Now the cars from the right may go
Then the ones on the other side of the street
then
finally
you.
The light switches to red again
Cars line up again
Waiting impatiently
to go their own way.
As time goes by
this pattern
repeats itself.
The same
over and over again
if you listen closely
the only difference you hear
are the noises of the cars.
But from the outside
it's the same thing
over and over again.

Realizing this
I got a little scared
What if this intersection
is a metaphore
for life?

One big LIE.

Just a day
as every day
but yet so different
waching my favorite show
and all at the sudden
tears were rolling down my cheeks
Seeing them
I wanted to be them
I felt so incomplete
They are so out
While all I can do is hide
By doing so
I take away a piece of me
The me you think I am
is one big lie
It took some crying to realize that
I felt sorry for myself
I know I am responsible
for my own happiness
Happiness is a choice
But I'm so fucking angry
I just don't have no choice at the moment
My life is fucked up
I am fucked up
I'm

one
big
lie.

Random thoughts from the heart

For a long time
I thought all this
was fairly new
It had been inside me
for quite a while
But yet it was so new
So new
I wasn't even sure
that it was there
or that it was me
wanting it to be there

I told myself I always knew
I kept repeated that to myself
I always knew
I always knew
I always knew
I always knew
But when I really thought about it
I wasn't so sure
Did I know it?
Have I always been?
Or do I just want to be?

I've been doing
a lot of looking back
lately
that's what you get
with those holidays
surrounding you
i looked back
into my past
to find clues
to see if i had showed
the signals
when i still was
a sweet and innocent girl
not aware of the world
surrounding me

to my surprise i had
showed the signals
clearer they couldn't have been
the image is burned
into my soul
i'll never forget.

So it's true
my mixed feelings
had been based on
lies

I knew it all along
I have always been
It's not who I want to be
it's who I am