Coming out- part 4

Hadewych: check
Marlijn: check
Lizzie: check
Derek: check
Remy: check
Nathalie: check
Olga: check

Salomy: checke
Febe: check
Nienke: check
Lianne: Check
Inge: Check
Simone: Check
Saskia: Check
Marianne: Check
Maaike: Check
Mom: check
Tommie:

Madly in love fuck up- yes i'm talking about myself

It's like she brings out the worst of me and the best of me both at the same time.
I've never felt this much pain and so in love before.
Why am I already crying over her while we're not even together yet?
I just want to lay me down next to her.
I want to wrap my arm around her.
I want her to kiss me.
I want to go to sleep peacefully with her next to me.
I want her arm around me and my head in her lap when I feel down.
I want to walk hand in hand with her.
I want to do the grocery shopping together with her.
I just want to be near her.
I want I want I want..
I'm in love
You know, she knows I have issues. More than once she told me that I could always talk to her. She's there for me. But how am I gonna tell her that she is the reason that I feel this way?? How am I gonna tell her that being so madly in love with her makes me feel like such a failure, a fuck up?? I know i probably should, but I'm sorry, I just can't.

Coming out--part 3

Hadewych: check
Marlijn: check
Lizzie: check
Derek: check
Remy: check
Nathalie: check
Olga: check

Salomy: check
Febe: check
Nienke:
Lianne: Check
Inge: Check
Simone: Check
Saskia: Check
Marianne: Check
Maaike: Check
Mom:

Don't give up on me just yet

If I could I'd love you beyond death
I'd give you everything you asked for
My heart my soul my paycheck
My clothes my skin my car
If I could I'd wrap my arms around you
Caress your skin and kiss every part of you
Your eyes your lips your breasts
Your neck your toes your hair
Do you even know
How much I want all of this
Do you know
How much I crave for your kiss
I'm yearning for your body
on top of mine
Baby please I'm trying
Working as hard as I possibly can
It's gonna take some time
I gotta take my time
Just don't give up on me just yet
I know you want the same
I know it's alright to take it slow
I know you'll wait for me
It's been 7 months now
and you are still there
God you're perfect
I understand if you want to walk away
Invest your time in someone less fucked up
But baby if you just could
hang in there a little longer
while i'm working on myself
on you on us
as hard as I can
Just know that I will never forget you
You turned my life around
180 degrees
You made me do everthing I used to
only dream about
You made me come out
and stay out
i talk i talk i talk
You exposed my pain
And turned it into
the most addictive pain i ever felt
i walk i walk i walk
i know we can get there
i know we can be special
i know we can be two girls strong
Just baby please
don't give up on me just yet

Sarah Bettens- Pave the way

I'll wear my rainbow flag with pride
and if i have people i love on my side
i'm alright

a girl. strong.

She's strong
in her own way
She put up a fight
after all the years
she couldn't take it anymore
hiding crying fleeing
was that her?
every drop of spontanity
had dripped out of her veins
calculated infatuated
she didn't know
a non-person is what she had turned into
a ghost a shade of her past
everything she's not
she realized it right on time
dehydrated miscalculated
she stood up
for the first time
and spoke out loud
a girl. strong.

In response to yesterday's blog..

I do have the best friends ever.

Having a little fun on my own

omg this is fucking scary! I've been watching the L word all afternoon (for the last week or so) and seriously, I see all of them everywhere now. So earlier on this night I saw the most incredible, moving episode of Law & Order ever, starring Kate Moennig. Fuck, she was amazing.
Next, I turn on Will & Grace and look who's there?? Sandra Bernard!
Then, I turn on Lovespring starring, what a surprise, Jane Lynch.
I think I should just continue watching tv all night. Who knows, maybe they'll air Flashdance or Exotica?!

Coming out -- p2

Hadewych: check
Marlijn: check
Lizzie: check
Derek: check
Remy: check
Olga: check

Febe:
Nienke:
Lianne: Check
Inge: Check
Simone: Check
Saskia: Check
Marianne: Check
Maaike: Check
Mom:

Yeah baby!

oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
there's no going back now. i came out big time to the friends i have wanted to tell for so long but i never could. I've honestly never been so afraid to hit that 'send' button.
phew. oh my god.
i'm feeling a thousand feelings all at once right now. Joy, fear, anxiety, pride. Oh my god!! I just want to laugh out loud histerically right now. Fuck yeah!



Hey chickies!
Hoe is t? Lekker vakantie aan het vieren allemaal?? Ik ben net terug uit Antwerpen en ben nu lekker op het huis van mn ouders aan het passen.
Hé ik wil jullie al een tijdje iets vertellen, maar ik wist niet zo goed hoe en wanneer, dus ik doe het maar zo. Vergeef me de onpersoonlijkheid.
Ik heb een tijdje, best lang eigenlijk, behoorlijk met mezelf in de knoop gezeten en dit merkte ik eigenlijk pas duidelijk toen we vorig jaar in Renesse waren, toen ik out of nowhere een huilbui kreeg in het bijzijn van S. ik kwam toen met een of ander waardeloos excuus terwijl ik de echte reden best wist. Maar toen besefte ik dat ik zo echt niet door kon gaan. Anyway, het heeft een hele tijd geduurd voordat ik alles op een rijtje had voor mezelf en er ook over wou praten. Ik ben lesbisch. There you have it. Dat is wat ik jullie wou vertellen. En zeg nou alsjeblieft niet dat jullie dat allemaal al lang door hadden haha.
Duss..jullie zijn mn (hele goeie) vriendinnen en ik vond dat ik dit niet langer voor jullie kon en mocht verbergen. Ik hoop dat jullie dit begrijpen.
Tot snel!
xx

Hey chica's!
How are ya? Having a good summer holiday?? I'm just back from Antwerp and right now I'm babysitting my parent's home.
Hey, I've been wanting to tell you something for quite a while now, but i never knew how and when, so i'm doing it like this. Please forgive me the fact that it's so unpersonal.
For a while, a pretty long while actually, i've been struggling with myself and i noticed this very clearly when we were on vacation in Renesse last year, when i started crying out of nowhere while I was with S. Back then I came up with some lousy excuse while I knew the real reason very well. But that made me realize I couldn't go on like that. Anyway, it took a long time until I had figured things out for myself and until i was ready to talk about it. I'm a lesbian. There you have it. That's what I wanted to tell ya. And now please don't say you all already knew this a long time ago lol.
Soo..you're my(very good) friends and i thought that i couldn't and shouldn't hide this from you guys any longer. I hope you understand.
See ya!
xx