All I want is peace of mind..

For so long I've been looking for a place where I can be me without being ashamed of it. I think I've found it.

Name:
Location: Zeist, Utrecht, Netherlands

I'm 23 years old, Dutch. I'm madly in love. I'm a thinker. I'm spiritual. I'm social, funny and a friend.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

My philosophy- Part 1

Today I found out who I was and why I am this way. Hearing about Plato and what he stood for sounded oh so familiar. Nobody took me serious when I told them who I was/who I had been. I have learned that my ideas are not strange or coming out of nowhere, but that one of the greatest philosophers of all time shared my ideas.
Finally someone put down my ideas on paper, with clear wording, something I've wanted to do for so long but never did. I know it can be done. In fact, I'm gonna do it now. :)

First of all, I just want to make clear that in no way I agree with all Plato's ideas. It's just that a lot of them I can relate to. This also means that SOME of my ideas about life, love and everything else, are in no way related with Plato, but with me, a barely 17 year old high school student. Quite a contrast, huh.


Ok, let's start.
First of all I'm going to answer the questions philosophers have been wondering about since, I believe, the very first generation of people was planted on this world. "What is our purpose?" or
"What's the meaning of life?" It's oh so clear to me. I believe our lifes, all our past lifes and all our future lifes are about learning and reaching a highest philosophical knowledge as possible.
In every new life we develop a sense to remember those lessons we have learned in our past lifes.
Once we have reached that goal, we move to this higher place and live there perfectly and peacefully ever after.

Karma. What goes around comes around. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Karma. It is present in so many religions, it is there in so many shapes and forms that we can hardly escape from it. To me, this is one of the most important things to believe in and that one must live up to. Only by living like this peace can be reached. If one does something good, something good will come back to him/her. If one does something bad, it comes back to him/her as well. Karma.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Reading this book changed my life. Those four, pretty easy life rules have such an impact on your life and they absolutely help you reach your highest goal in life.

1. Be impeccable with your words
2. Don't take anything personal
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best.

Faith. Everything happens for a reason. I strongly believe that. How unfair things seem, they NEVER happen without a reason. NO ONE suffers without a reason. EVERYTHING serves a higher purpose.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

A Winner

You're a winner
Barely a day goes by
or you have won something
CDs
DVDs
a book
a PlayStation
you name it
and you have won it.

I have never won
anything material
But I don't care
I'm not that much interested
in material things anyway.

Today
I felt like a winner though
No
no Playstation
no CDs
no notebook
none of that all.
Yet I felt like a winner.

Nothing material could
equal my happiness
caused by one single person
who means the world to me
You know who you are.

I can't thank you enough
It's been a while since I felt like this.
THANK YOU.

Today you made me feel like
a winner.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Tears of happiness

Lately
seeing love and happiness
brought tears to my ears
more and more often.

tears of joy.
tears of pain.

seeing this higher place
spreads such intense peace
throughout my inner me.

yet at the same time
i feel the hole in my heart
growing bigger and bigger.
i cry more

tears of joy
tears of pain.

My heart aches
for the love I never knew
the love
I never wanted to know.

Now my ego has grown too big
It's too humiliating to change
to openly love.
I'm not proud of it
But that's who am I
and it hurts.
I cry more

tears of pain.

But I've realized
before it was too late
that it's time to change
I can't carry on
any further
like this.

I'm pushing away
the one thing
I long for the most
with my only 17 years of age.

I've realized it
It's not too late to change
I AM changing
and I cry
some more

tears of happiness.

Little Girl

In my young life
I have been facing so many
adult "problems" or dilemmas
It feels like I've grown up
way too fast
the last couple of years.
The biggest problem
has got to be responsibility
I think.
For so long
I've been craving for responsibility
adulthood

and now I've finally got it
I want to get rid of it
and deep inside
I want to be that little girl
I used to be again
Carelessly living my life.
Sometimes
I want to escape from daily life
Have my world focus on me only
No one else as I am the only one important
Like my world looked like
when I was a little girl.

Although there are more pros
than cons
of being
-or pretending to be-
an adult
and having responsibility
Sometimes it's just too much
and then i want to escape
go back in time
and be that little girl
I once was.