For my girlfriend.

I'm just not meant to be there yet
I still have to learn to love myself unconditionally
Let alone love someone else with whole my heart
She means the world to me
She gave me all the time I needed and never got out of sight
I still have to learn to say those words
But I think -I know- I love her.

Only a month together
Yet she has tought me more that I have learned in the past twenty years
She's learning me to accept myself, to love myself
God, I'm lucky to have her.

I realize we might not last
But I'm so incredibly grateful
for everything she is
She means the world to me.

"I'll accept the way I'll turn out"

I just got home from this wonderful play that a friend organised. I had no clue what it would be about beforehand so I went in with virtually no expectations at all. It was a pretty short play accompanied by a great band. I found the play very inspirational; not in the way it was intended (the message was that God accepts you and is there to help you along the way) but I did find some truths in it. The play was about a guy who had set quite a lot goals for himself, but was afraid to reach them on his own. Eventually he ends up in a situation in which he has to do what he's afraid of in order to save someone else.
I did recognise a bit of myself in this guy. I set so many goals for myself meant to enrich myself and make me a better person, yet i don't reach most of them. And that makes me feel like a loser.

I don't believe there's a God that helps me along the way and I don't really believe I'm not alone. I am alone and I have to make my life worthwhile. Because of that, I have to develop the strengh to reach those goals. That will make the journey worthwile, not the journey itself. I have to decide to make the journey and deal with all the obstacles along the way. I have started my journey several years ago. The journey doesn't go that quick. Sometimes it's step by step, sometimes I take a big leap. I consider my coming out a big leap. It took quite some courage and I was aware of the possible consuequences. Still, I did it, because I wanted to live a life of truth and mostly because I wanted to be a happy person. So there it was, my strength, showing itself around the corner.

I have set some goals in my life; some big some not so. The journey towards each one of them takes strength and that strength grows after each obstacle I have conquered.
I don't realize that all the time. I've heard several people say that I was pretty tough, cool, whatever you like, in a very positive way lately. That made me feel really good about myself and a bit proud as well. My personal growth is my goal and, how hard it might be, I love my journey.