All I want is peace of mind..

For so long I've been looking for a place where I can be me without being ashamed of it. I think I've found it.

Name:
Location: Zeist, Utrecht, Netherlands

I'm 23 years old, Dutch. I'm madly in love. I'm a thinker. I'm spiritual. I'm social, funny and a friend.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

If you're not scared..then why am I?*

Sometimes I'm scared.
Scared of dying without having done everything I wanted to do in live.
Scared of dying without having discovered my true me.
Scared of turning into the person I despite so much.
Scared of raising children in the same way my parents did.
Scared of who I want to be.
Scared of who I am right now.
Scared of what the future might bring.
Scared of everything I'm not.
Scared of being me.
Scared of being me around others.
Scared of what people might think of me.
Scared of people trying to come close to me.
Scared of people trying to break through my wall.
Scared of intimacy.
Scared of being loved.
Scared of loving myself.









*lyric taken from "If you're not scared" by K's Choice

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sarah Bettens!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

SATC

I went to see Sex and the City: the Movie tonight. It had been quite a while since I went to the cinema, but I figured seeing this movie together with some good friends would be a pretty good way to bring the old habit back to live. And no regrets at all. God I loved that movie. No, if you want to see a highly intellegent and deep movie I'd recommend to go see something else, but if you just want to have a good night out, SATC: the Movie is highly worth the money.
We were with the five of us, two in a longterm relationship and three singles. Yet even the committed ones were drooling over Samantha's way too cute boyfriend. The storylines were ok, again, nothing deep or with a twist, but if that's not what you're looking for, you'll have a great evening, whether you've watched the series or not.
The film was unexpectedly hilarious and the great guest actors (Jennifer Hudson!) certainly helped in that.

You know, usually I'm such a cry baby. I can't remember watching a movie without shedding a tear. Heck, I'd even cry when watching James Bond! But tonight I kept my eyes dry. Even though my wonderful lady friend did shed a tear I was surprised to find out my eyes were still dry. I guess I am finally in a healthy place in my life. And no, I'm not living happily ever after or anything like that, I still have plenty of issues, but they're good. I'm good. I'm in a healthy state of mind and this movie totally comfirmed this. SATC, thank you.





And God I wish I'll look like Kim Catrall when I turn 50. Damn that woman is HOT

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Gays to win marriage rights

The Norwegian government put forth a long-expected gay marriage bill on Friday, clearing the way for homosexual couples to secure the same marriage rights as heterosexuals.

The new gay marriage bill was pushed through by new government minister Anniken Huitfeldt of the Labour Party.

Norway already has a so-called "partnership law" that has allowed homosexuals to form legal domestic partnerships. Now they likely will be able to marry, with all the rights that entails, since the government has a majority in parliament and the law is expected to win approval.

The bill, called "felles ekteskapslov" in Norwegian, will also ensure that children of lesbian couples will have two legal parents from the beginning of life, and that married homosexuals will be evaluated as adoptive parents along the same lines as heterosexual couples.

The new government minister in charge of children's and family issues, Anniken Huitfeldt of the Labour Party, called the proposed law "an historic step towards equality." She said the goal of the law is to demonstrate that homosexual and heterosexual couples are equal under the law.

"The new law won't weaken marriage as an institution," Huitfeldt claimed. "Rather, it will strengthen it. Marriage won't be worth less because more can take part in it."

Dissension
Two of her colleagues in Norway's left-centre government coalition, however, exercised their right to dissent, and refused to endorse all portions of the controversial measure.

Transport Minister Liv Signe Navarsete and the minister in charge of local government, Magnhild Meltveit Kleppa, wouldn't support the measure's proposal to also allow gay couples access to state-funded programs that help couples conceive children. They also refused to support proposed changes in biotechnology laws.

(source: www.aftenposten.no)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

K's Choice- What the hell is love

He was not so tall and rather fat
He had a labrador and a limping cat
Born in a country with a broken heart
He had enough money and a credit card
Told bedtime stories to his Teddybear
Gave him lots of hugs and a dress to wear
He had a small apartment (what a lovely sight)
He watched MTV all night

Where the hell was friendship
He must have turned it off
And most of all he wondered what is love
What the hell is love

He enjoyed the silence more and more
As he heard the door slam right next door
He had a fancy Parker and a diary
In which he wrote some poetry
And as he went to bed at night
The cat's eyes gave him ample light
To make him lie awake and see
The content of his misery

Where the hell was friendship
He must have turned it off
And most of all he wondered what is love
What the hell is love

Where the hell was friendship
He must have turned it off
And most of all he wondered what is love
What the hell is love

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Slowly...we're getting there.

So yeah, my first reaction to the article below was something with 'fuck' and 'damn Christians' in just one sentence, especially after reading the title ourchart.com gave it: Poll Says Half Think Homosexuality Is Sinful (). While reading the article I calmed down a bit and I was able to nuance that title.

I agree, the numbers are shocking. 48% of all questioned people believes homosexuality is a sin. But look at the numbers for certain religious groups specifically; they are quite low. I'm sure as hell (ha-ha) those numbers would at least have been twice as high, say, 30 years ago.

Change change change...we just got to be patient; it will take a while, but we'll get there.


Survey focuses on views of homosexuality; impact on outreach

LifeWay Research study explores religious perpectives of same-sex attraction

NASHVILLE, Tenn. 6-04-2008 06:56 GMT (FINDITT)


Americans hold contradictory opinions on the issue of homosexuality, including whether homosexual behavior is sinful. A similar percentage of Americans consider homosexual behavior sinful to those who do not, and neither view gains a majority, according to a new study by LifeWay Research. The study also found that Americans’ views of homosexuality impacts their openness to participation in a church.

A telephone survey of 1,201 American adults, conducted in April 2008, revealed that 48 percent of all Americans believe homosexual behavior is sinful, while 45 percent believe it is not sinful, almost a statistical tie when considering the margin of error.

The percentage is slightly different when the respondent indicates he or she knows someone with same-sex attraction; 49 percent indicating it is not sinful. Among those who have a religious affiliation, 55 percent of Catholics and 31 percent of Protestants said they do not believe homosexual behavior is sinful. That number dropped to 17 percent among born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Protestants.

Holding opposing views, 39 percent of Catholics, 61 percent of Protestants and 79 percent of born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Protestants said they do believe homosexual behavior is sinful. Among the sample of all Americans, 48 percent said they believe homosexual behavior is a sin.

Twenty-nine percent of Americans said their decision to visit or join a church would be positively affected if that congregation taught homosexual behavior is a sin. Among Catholics, that number dropped to 23 percent. Thirty-eight percent of Protestants and 50 percent of born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Protestants said they would be more likely to visit or join a church if it taught homosexual behavior is sinful.

Thirty-two percent of Americans – almost one in three – said their decision to visit or join a church would be negatively affected if that congregation taught homosexual behavior is sinful. Among Catholics and Protestants, that number is 27 percent. It dropped further to 21 percent among born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Protestants. Among those who never attend any place of worship, 49 percent said this teaching would negatively affect their decision to visit or join a church.

Those statistics should give church leaders pause and lead them to strike an important but delicate balance between demonstrating Christ’s love for all people while still presenting a biblical teaching about homosexual behavior, said LifeWay Research Director Ed Stetzer.

“It’s surprising to see how many Catholics disagree with the clear teaching of their church or, for that matter, the percentage of Protestants who consider themselves born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist, who do not believe homosexuality is a sin,” Stetzer said. “Seventeen percent in that latter category may seem low compared to the others, but considering these people consider themselves born-again, evangelical, or fundamentalist, it reminds us of the need for clear biblical teaching on the issue in our community.”

The trajectory in Western culture is toward greater acceptance of homosexuality, Stetzer noted, but evangelical Christians cannot base their convictions about homosexuality on what polls say or the values portrayed in the media.

“We did not develop our views of sexuality because we flipped a coin or took a poll,” he said. “We believe the teaching of Scripture is clear that monogamous, heterosexual marriage is God’s best for people, culture and society.”

Stetzer also pointed to the challenge in the data. “Almost a third of Americans and almost half of those who do not attend a place of worship – the people we are trying to reach – say our view of sexual morality would negatively impact their decision to visit our churches,” Stetzer said. “It’s clear we have a challenging but essential task. We need to strive to show the love of Christ, while upholding the standard of Scripture, to those who struggle with same-sex attraction.”

The survey also asked participants which factors they thought contributed to same-sex attraction and gave them six options: choice, determined at birth (inevitable), influenced at birth (but not inevitable), childhood abuse, lack of bonding with parent and lack of same-sex parent role modeling.

Across all categories of Americans – religious or not – the largest percentages selected “choice” as a contributing factor. Among the sample of all Americans, 51 percent selected choice. Fifty-three percent of Catholics and Protestants and 60 percent of born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Protestants picked that option.

Among the sample of all Americans, 38 percent said same-sex attraction was determined at birth, while 47 percent of Catholics, 33 percent of Protestants and 25 percent of born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Protestants selected that option. About one-quarter of adult Americans indicated that childhood abuse, lack of same sex parent role modeling, lack of bonding with parent and influence at birth were contributing factors to same-sex attraction.

According to the survey, 66 percent of Americans are personally acquainted with someone who is attracted to people of the same sex. That percentage held among Protestants and 68 percent of Catholics answered in the affirmative.

The size of the survey sample provided a 95 percent confidence that the sampling error did not exceed 2.9 percent for questions asked of the entire sample. More detailed breakdowns of the data, as well as responses to questions not included in this report, may be found at lifewayresearch.com.

For up-to-date news and information regarding LifeWay Christian Resources, visit www.lifeway.com/news.


California Gay Marriages on Track to Begin June 17



Same-sex marriages in California can begin this month, declared the state's supreme court on Wednesday.

In a 4–3 vote, the justices rejected a request by conservative groups to stay their May 15 ruling legalizing same-sex marriages until voters have a chance to vote on their legality in the November election, reported the Los Angeles Times. With the court's refusal to stay its ruling, California counties can begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples beginning June 17.

An initiative that would amend the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage -- and nullify the court's decision -- has qualified for the November ballot, California's secretary of state announced Monday. (The Advocate)

I bought 'Little Man' today and it featured this wonderful song

K's Choice- Basically the same


Don't call me sinner
Don't call me nerd
Don't call me chaotic
Because you heard

I have strange feelings
I have weird thoughts
But don't call me an artist
Because I'm not

I am an animal, a saint
A grown up child without a name
I am a black man, I am gay
I say we're basically the same
Don't label me

I'm not a colour
I'm not a sex
I'm not a partner
I'm not an ex

Don't call me nigger
Don't call me queer
Don't call me retarded
Although I am

I am an animal, a saint
A grown up child without a name
I am a black man, I am gay
I say we're basically the same

Don't label, don't you see
A wooden table is actually a tree

Which is basically the same
Which is basically the same
Which is basically the same as you as me