Grandma.

2 years later
the whole circus again
but now it's her
instead of him.
I'm just not sure how I feel
Not like I felt two years ago- that's for sure.
Back then, I didn't feel a single thing and I felt like I was made from stone.
Now, I do feel 'stuff', I have mixed feelings.
I do feel like I'm supposed to feel
yet the totally opposite feelings are present too.
The person who made my mom's life like a fucking hell for the past two years
My mom's life was a fucking maze with no exit in sight and I feel so sorry for her.
Me, she pulled further and further into her puddle of mud and it took me so much energy fighting too get out.
Those are quite some different feelings than the ones I used to have.
As a child, she was the coolest grandma I could imagine. Then, as I grew older and I started to see her real personality I was shocked. Disappointed.
Now almost two years later it's her turn. Her turn to pass away to a better place. Some place where she will be accepted, as she felt so unaccepted all her life. It's her turn to go now and I am shocked about my feelings.

Religion. Violence.

The image of this girl keeps running through my mind. The girl who survived the attack on the Red Mosque in Pakistan. She was 15 years old. 15 years old and talking so passionately about taking down her president. Willingly to give her life if she had to take off her nikab.
She didn't look that frightening. She didn't look like "your average terrorist”. She looked like any Middle Eastern 15 girl. While I was reading the translation of the things she said, the things she believed in, a thought crossed my mind. “She could have been in my class. She could have lived in the same street as I, yet she'll probably hate me. Hate me wholeheartedly for what I believe (or rather not believe) and how I dress. Probably she'll want me to die and go to hell. 15 year old.
I try to but I can't imagine what it must be like to live in her world. To live in her reality. She passionately believes in her religion, but she also uses her religion as a weapon of mass destruction. Thanks to the indoctrination in her mosk, she is no longer an innocent 15 year old girl. Now she is a warrior. She is a 15 year old terrorist. I wish I could have seen her face. I wish I had looked into her eyes more to see what was really going on in there. Is that really what she believes in? Violence as a religion? I don't know. But I am not able to get her picture out of my mind.

Religion. Violence.

The image of this girl keeps running through my mind. The girl who survived the attack on the Red Mosque in Pakistan. She was 15 years old. 15 years old and talking so passionately about taking down her president. Willingly to give her life if she had to take off her nikab.
She didn't look that frightening. She didn't look like "your average terrorist”. She looked like any Middle Eastern 15 year old girl. While I was reading the translation of the things she said, the things she believed in, a thought crossed my mind. “She could have been in my class. She could have lived in the same street as I, yet she'll probably hate me. Hate me wholeheartedly for what I believe (or rather not believe) and how I dress. Probably she'll want me to die and go to hell. 15 year old.
I try to but I can't imagine what it must be like to live in her world. To live in her reality. She passionately believes in her religion, but she also uses her religion as a weapon of mass destruction. Thanks to the indoctrination in her mosque, she is no longer an innocent 15 year old girl. Now she is a warrior. She is a 15 year old terrorist. I wish I could have seen her face. I wish I had looked into her eyes more to see what was really going on in there. Is that really what she believes in? Violence as a religion? I don't know. But I am not able to get her picture out of my mind.

I'm such a coward

Last Sunday
I was in tears
I almost spoke my truth
But i kind of made something up
so i didn't have to tell the truth
fuck me
i'm such a coward

From HRC

Hey

You love your job. Your supervisors give you top ratings. Then, one day, a colleague finds out you're gay. A week later, you find your desk emptied into a box. You're fired. The reason? Your sexual orientation.

Here's the worst part: firing you for being gay was 100% legal. It's an outrage. In 31states, you can be fired solely because you're gay – and if you're transgender, that's 39 states.

HRC is determined to end this injustice by passing the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Congress will vote on this vital legislation soon – and we need your voice.

Tell your Representative to stand up for GLBT equality in the workplace!

With the Matthew Shepard Act so close to consideration by the Senate (thanks to the hard work of thousands of HRC supporters like you), this is already a historic summer for the GLBT community. With ENDA also heating up, we're fighting on multiple fronts – I hope you're with us.

The radical right is not letting up. Their campaign to enshrine hatred and bigotry in the American legal code will only intensify – and they're putting major resources into blocking our progress, by flooding Congress with lies and misinformation.

We need your help to make sure your lawmakers know:

* Current federal law protects workers against discrimination based on their race, gender, religion, national origin, and disability—but NOT based on sexual orientation or gender identity.
* ENDA is NOT about special treatment. It does not excuse poor job performance. It simply gives gay and transgendered workers the same rights and protections as their colleagues.
* Nearly 90% of Fortune 500 companies now include sexual orientation in their non-discrimination policies. It's time the government caught up with the private sector.

With the number of cosponsors growing by the day, this vital legislation is gaining momentum in the House. And Americans overwhelmingly agree that GLBT people should have equal employment opportunities. We must spread the truth, today.

Send a message to your Representative in support of GLBT workers' rights.
This week, we celebrate living in a country that was founded upon the principle of equal opportunity. Yet centuries later, that principle does not apply to GLBT Americans.

Thank you for helping us end this hypocrisy – so that millions of Americans can work without fear.

Warmly,
Joe Solmonese
Joe Solmonese
President