All I want is peace of mind..

For so long I've been looking for a place where I can be me without being ashamed of it. I think I've found it.

Name:
Location: Zeist, Utrecht, Netherlands

I'm 23 years old, Dutch. I'm madly in love. I'm a thinker. I'm spiritual. I'm social, funny and a friend.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Nearly 26 years ago...

Nearly 26 years ago
He was fatally shot
By a crazed fan

Dec 8, 1980
Almost a decade
before I was born
yet nearly 26 years later
I can feel the impact
it must have had on people
back then.

Nearly 26 years ago
A man
whose most famous words were
"Give peace a chance"
was brutally murdered.
Quite ironic
if you come to think about it

Nearly 26 years ago
yet still
the world hasn't changed a single bit
when innocent people
still get killed
and
"give peace a chance"
still is
a long lost dream.

Yet
I'll keep honorably remembering him
by repeating until the world will finally listen

"All you need is love"
and
"Give peace a chance"



In memory of John Lennon, Oct 9, 1940-Dec 8, 1980

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Rome.

Rome.
Italy.
Wow.
It was fucking great.
I went there last Saturday with school and I got home back home last Friday afternoon. I am so blessed. Little girl from Zeist, Holland goes to one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Heck I'm blessed.
Everyone should visit Rome at some point in their lives. Seeing all those gorgeous and ancient places really does something to the human soul. You just feel it growing and growing while examining all those cultural highlights. The Forum Romanum. The Colosseum. The Circus Maximus. The Trevi Fountain. Just to name a few. I'm getting a bit melancholical now. Thinking back of it is great, but no matter how many thoughts, how many pictures, you'll never get the feeling back it gave you when you first saw all these beautiful sites.
Just the very first minutes in Rome made my old soul feel perfectly at home. Looking up at the sky and being surprised by a 2,000 year old building staring at you like it stared at perhaps Julius Caesar 2 milleniums ago. Fascinating.
Rome.
I definitely want to spend a part of my further life there.
Rome. I'm in love.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Porch

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine





...................................................................................................

Come back

Some songs are just so...fitting


Pearl Jam- Come back

If I keep holding out
Will the light shine through
Under this broken roof
Its only rain that I feel
Ive been wishing out the days
Ohh ohh oh come back

I have been planning out
All that I'd say to you
Since you slipped away
Know that I still remain true
Ive been wishing out the days
Please say that if you hadnt gone now
I wouldnt have lost you another way
From wherever you are
Ohhhh ohh ohh oh oh come back

And these days they linger on
And in the night ive been waiting for
The real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams
I go to sleep
If i dont fall apart, Will my memory stay clear
So you had to go, And I had to remain here

But the strangest thing today
So far away and yet you feel so close
And Im not gonna question any other way
There must be an open door
For you uhh uhh uhh.... To come back


And the days they linger on
And every night when Im waiting for
The real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams
Sometimes you're there and you're talking back to me
Come the morning I can swear that you're next to me
And its okay
Its ok...its ok

Ohhh i need you....come back, come back
Ahhhhh I need you come back, come back
Ohhhh I need you come back, come back

Gone

I thought it was
the beginning of something new
But instead it was gonna be
the end of everything

I didn't know her well
but I definitely fell in love
with the sides I did get to know

Just four months
that's all the time we had
Four months
Yesterday I saw you last.

Damn
I want to shout it off the roofs
but instead I keep it quiet
and scream it out
with my lips pressed together
I LOVE YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!
I HAVE NEVER LOVED SOMEONE
LIKE I LOVE YOU!!

I want you
I want to see you
I want to touch you
I want to feel you
Hold you
Kiss you
Make you mine

argh... why?
Strange this is
I thought about
what it would be like
without you
yesterday morning
I decided I didn't like it
one single bit.
Yesterday evening
I found out
indeed you were leaving
fuck this
fuck this
don't want to live without you

Can't stop thinking about you
Don't want to stop thinking about you

I love you
can't you see?
I want you.

Gone.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Woman

Beautiful woman
Gorgeous woman
Cute woman
Sexy woman
Funny woman
Cool woman
Most of all
Attractive woman

The first time I saw you
You opened my eyes
Wow
You're the one that I want
I thought
and I was convinced
we were both
playing for the same team

The more times I saw you
The more disappointed I got
in myself
and my lack of
judgement
of human character

Straight woman
Not so single woman

I still like you a lot
even though
you're playing for the other team

You're an intelligent woman
The kind I can talk to woman
The kind that can be trusted woman
The kind to laugh with woman

You're a perfect woman
In a perfect world
But this world isn't perfect.

Neither is mine.

Sweet gal

Nice gal
Sweet gal
it was nice
hanging around with you

Nice gal
sweet gal
lonely gal?
no
not any more

i remember it well
5 years ago
i first met you
you were part
of this group
my group
looked down on
because they
looked down on us.

Never felt the need
to get to know you better
Nice gal
Sweet gal
I thought
I knew who you were
and what you stood for

A year later
your group fell apart
you had grown out
didn't fit in
according to their morals
anymore

You had grown out
had the guts
to walk your path of truth
Made new friends
Became friends
with my friends

Nice gal
sweet gal
you're not who i thought you'd be
Nice gal
Sweet gal
it was fun
hanging around with you.

Based on just those 50 mins
we spend together
My heart tells me
you're a good gal

You're a

Nice gal
Sweet gal.

Tuesday night, Pearl Jam night!

Last Tuesday,the 29th, the big day finally arrived!! I had been desperately waiting for this day since March and there it was! Finally!! My very first Pearl Jam concert...

The concert was scheduled at 7:30pm, Tuesday night. That was my very first day back in school this year, so I was hoping I wouldn't be too tired. The lsat two hours I was supposed to have PE lessons and I had already arranged with my mum that I could skip those lessons in order to go to Pearl Jam. However, my teacher came telling me that we wouldn't start with PE until next week so there was no reason to skip PE lessons and I had plenty of time left to prepare myself for the concert!
Me and my mum, with whom I was going to the concert as she's a huge fan had planned to leave home around 4:15 so we'd arrive at the trainstation around 4:30. Around 3:30 I decided it was time to get dressed and prepare myself to leave. Well, at 4:10 I still hadn't decided what to wear and my room looked like a battlefield with clothes and stuff all over it. I ended up wearing my simple old jeans, sneakers, my only pearl jam tee and my pearl jam sweater.
We had to wait a bit for the train to arrive but we arrived at the Gelredome stadium in Arnhem around 5: 20. First we went to the merchandise stand and bought this crazy cool light blue Pearl Jam tee with the cover of the new album at the front (pic to be found at: [url]http://www.levykauppax.fi/cover/normal/1/15/15350.jpg[/url])
and the names of all the places they're performing this tour on the back.
Then we had something to eat which tasted like everything BUT what it was supposed to taste like and after being searched by this cute lady we went to our seats (damnit my mum wanted seats but i wanted to stand at the stage!!) and waited until 7:30 when this excellent Australian band called Wolfmother entered the stage as the opening act. They played a couple of their songs, great music!, and at 8:45 the boys FINALLY entered the stage!!!

Setlist:
Release
Why Go
Save you
Corduroy
Severed Hand
Better man (Eddie opened this song with singing a piece of "No woman no cry"- very cool)
World Wide Suicide
Insignificance
Jeremy
Do the evolution
Given to fly
Evenflow
I got id
Lukin
Spin the black circle
Rearviewmirrow

Encore 1:
Man of the hour (request from a terminally ill boy for whom they had arranged a seat right next to the stage)
Daughter
State of love and trust
Comatose
Porch (acoustic opening, very cool)

Encore 2:
Bushleager (very amusing! Eddie did his act with the Bush mask!!)
Leash
Alive (absolutely awesome. EVERYBODY was singing and dancing along. so cool!!!!)
Rockin' in the free world (right when i thought the concert couldn't become any better, it certainly reached its highlight of the evening with this song! People jumping and screaming along the words, Eddie got of the stage, into the audience and continued singing there. awesome!! :D)
Yellow Ledbetter (great song to end the show with)


I was so excited as this was my very first PJ concert!! They played quite some of my fav song, although I had really hoped they'd play Black, Comatose and Life Wasted as well. But besides from the that, the show was just wow. Can't express it in words. The energy coming from the guys was just amazing!! Eddie sang perfectly, Mike the guitarist was fab and so was the drummer Matt who gave away a very impressive solo and the other band members did great as well.
This was the best night of my life..for now..