Merry Christmas

The first four and a half hour weren't that bad. They were pretty nice actually. I guess it helped that my dad hid in the shed for most part of the afternoon and that the rest of us don't care much about the Christmas tradition. So we played some music games and listened to the great music the past era has brought us. I did some homework, surfed on the web. I even offered my help in the kitchen. BAM. Turning point. Momma, I do not exaggerate. The quarrels drive me crazy, they do.

Brother, I apologise

Exactly one year ago I wrote this blog about my dad and my brother. Purely coincedental I just read it again and I feel like I need to comment on it now. Basically I wrote that I thought my brother would turn out the same fucked up way my dad did.
I also wrote:

You're not made out of one but out of two, remember

Brother, if you read this, I'd like you to know that you've grown so much the past years. You're so young still and you've got so much more time left to grow. So whenever I say something like that please remember the above mentioned line.

You have changed so much the past year. And for the good, I might have to add. So, here you have it, I was wrong.

Brother, I love you.

Thank you, my friend.

My former therapist would probably call it insecurity, but i cherish the fact that i am, honestly, thankful for the smallest possible things. I'm surprised when someone remembers my name. I'm surprised when a friend asks me how something went. And I'm so thankful when people actually listen to me. That surprise makes me feel good, so I want to hold on to it. Those little things do something to me. They make me realize luck really comes in little things.

I had this nice blog in my head

At some times the inspirations invades my head at moments I don't expect it. I tell myself to remember it so I can blog about it later on. Of course I always forget.