Puddle of mud

So much negative energy
god i cannot comprehend
believe me
if i say i wish i could
but i'm trying
really hard
to understand you
and your motives
but honestly
i can't.

everybody deals different with a loss
that's human
it's hard -i cannot even imagine- to loose someone
you've been together with for 50 years
minus a month.
it's your right to feel angry
it's your right to feel lonely
but it's not your right to be so self centered
egoistic
hateful

only talking shit about others
pressing their faces in the dirt
smuthering them
how hard they try to lift their faces
with one hand only
you press them in the mud
harder and harder

while he was the sick one
in so much pain
it was a relieve for him to die
knowing he would come home
to something so shiny
so peaceful
unearthy.

His suffering was so bad
He just couldn't take it anymore
You used to acknowledge this
say it over and over again
but now
now you're the one
we should feel sorry for
you have been through so much
poor woman
people should do anything for you
on your command
just because it's you.

people have to crawl harder and harder
through the mud
to satisfy your hunger
the pool gets bigger
the crawling gets harder
and just when they finally managed
with all their power to lift their heads from the dirt
you throw them back in
even harder
pushing them even further.

Those people should fight.
Fight to get out of the mud.
Shake it off.
Walk around the puddle.
Do what's good for them
Say how they feel
Say they did not like residing in the mud
But they're afraid to speak up
Cuz they're the only ones you have
Just because it's not done.
Afraid to leave you all alone
So they abide
and crawl
and slide further and further away
in your puddle of mud.