Gone

She's gone.
She left me.
And I'm on my own.
She was the one for me.
She was the one I wanted to grow old with.
She was the one I wanted to marry.
I wanted to have her kids.
Now it's all gone.
I love her with every muscle, every vein, every bone in my body.
The pain is excruciating.
Like a hand squeezing together my hart.
We had so many plans together.
None of them will happen.
We were going to fulfill my biggest dream in a year or 2
Once I'd have a job, we'd save money and go to San Fransisco together.
That was my dream.
And it's gone now.
I don't see how I could ever hold someone, kiss someone, love someone
That is not her.
I threw away my pride.
I even begged her on my knees to take me back in the middle of the night,
next to her bed.
But she said it was better this way.
And all I want is for her to be happy
But what I don't get is why her happiness
is depending on my unhappiness.
I have no reason to live anymore
She was the reason I got through every day.
She made me grow
She showed me love
She showed me that I'm not made from stone.
She turned my world around.
I loved every second of my life with her.

And now it's gone.
She's gone.