Binational gay couples test love's power
Binational gay couples test love's power
by Barbara Wilcox
Of the more than 600,000 gay and lesbian couples counted in the 2000 U.S. Census, 35,380 are binational, with one member a citizen of a country other than the United States. Immigration experts think the true numbers may be much higher.
Because the U.S. government refuses to recognize gay relationships, these couples lead precarious lives -- the American unable to sponsor his partner for immigration purposes, the foreigner often unable to work or at risk of deportation. Legislation to help them has been introduced -- and been stalled -- in Congress each year since 2000.
Director Sebastian Cordoba tracked several such couples in "Through Thick and Thin," a documentary that won the Freedom Award at last month's Outfest, the Los Angeles LGBT film festival. Be warned -- it's a three-hanky picture, eschewing talking points and talking heads for an up-close, personal look at the toll U.S. policy takes on gay and lesbian lives.
Saddest of all Cordoba's couples are the oldest, who have spent lifetimes working and paying taxes into a system that now denies them aid or comfort.
"Every time he leaves, I grieve like he is dying," says an Idaho senior citizen of his UK. partner. It's heartbreaking to watch them on opposite ends of a Webcam, each hugging his own body in lieu of the beloved 6,000 miles away.
Anthony, an American senior citizen, can get more face time: His partner, Andre, is Brazilian, and Brazil grants same-sex immigration rights. But Anthony pays a terrible price. Being abroad, he forfeits his Medicare coverage, and his kidneys fail.
"If I had been able to go to him, he would still be alive," Andre says after the funeral.
A 2005 federal law ostensibly passed to fight terrorism greatly raised the stakes: People "aiding and abetting" illegal immigrants, even their own life partners, can now be prosecuted as felons.
Unsurprisingly, the couples who do best are the ones with most education and resources. The film implies that their best hope, though far from an ideal one, is usually to leave the United States.
Tammy, an American, is able to get a UK work visa and set up house with her British partner, though it means leaving her grown children behind.
Mark, a French educator, games the system for years, cashing in his French retirement benefits and selling the family home to make good on a succession of student visas. When the money runs out, Mark and his partner, Fred, make plans to move to France with their two adopted preschoolers. France is happy to have Fred but does not recognize gay adoptions, and if anything happens to either dad the kids will be wards of the state.
The children are inevitably hurt by the uncertainty, particularly about losing their home. Mark and Fred buy their little girl a toy kitchen to soften the blow.
"I fell in love with the Declaration of Independence, where I read something about the pursuit of happiness," Mark says amid a pile of packing supplies. "Four hundred years ago, people left Europe for a dream. Now the pursuit of happiness is going east."
by Barbara Wilcox
Of the more than 600,000 gay and lesbian couples counted in the 2000 U.S. Census, 35,380 are binational, with one member a citizen of a country other than the United States. Immigration experts think the true numbers may be much higher.
Because the U.S. government refuses to recognize gay relationships, these couples lead precarious lives -- the American unable to sponsor his partner for immigration purposes, the foreigner often unable to work or at risk of deportation. Legislation to help them has been introduced -- and been stalled -- in Congress each year since 2000.
Director Sebastian Cordoba tracked several such couples in "Through Thick and Thin," a documentary that won the Freedom Award at last month's Outfest, the Los Angeles LGBT film festival. Be warned -- it's a three-hanky picture, eschewing talking points and talking heads for an up-close, personal look at the toll U.S. policy takes on gay and lesbian lives.
Saddest of all Cordoba's couples are the oldest, who have spent lifetimes working and paying taxes into a system that now denies them aid or comfort.
"Every time he leaves, I grieve like he is dying," says an Idaho senior citizen of his UK. partner. It's heartbreaking to watch them on opposite ends of a Webcam, each hugging his own body in lieu of the beloved 6,000 miles away.
Anthony, an American senior citizen, can get more face time: His partner, Andre, is Brazilian, and Brazil grants same-sex immigration rights. But Anthony pays a terrible price. Being abroad, he forfeits his Medicare coverage, and his kidneys fail.
"If I had been able to go to him, he would still be alive," Andre says after the funeral.
A 2005 federal law ostensibly passed to fight terrorism greatly raised the stakes: People "aiding and abetting" illegal immigrants, even their own life partners, can now be prosecuted as felons.
Unsurprisingly, the couples who do best are the ones with most education and resources. The film implies that their best hope, though far from an ideal one, is usually to leave the United States.
Tammy, an American, is able to get a UK work visa and set up house with her British partner, though it means leaving her grown children behind.
Mark, a French educator, games the system for years, cashing in his French retirement benefits and selling the family home to make good on a succession of student visas. When the money runs out, Mark and his partner, Fred, make plans to move to France with their two adopted preschoolers. France is happy to have Fred but does not recognize gay adoptions, and if anything happens to either dad the kids will be wards of the state.
The children are inevitably hurt by the uncertainty, particularly about losing their home. Mark and Fred buy their little girl a toy kitchen to soften the blow.
"I fell in love with the Declaration of Independence, where I read something about the pursuit of happiness," Mark says amid a pile of packing supplies. "Four hundred years ago, people left Europe for a dream. Now the pursuit of happiness is going east."
posted by peaceofmind | 8:23 AM
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