Reflections of everything I'm not

Yesterday again, I was scared to death to look in the mirrow, which is not a very good thing when you're at the hairdresser's. I hate to see my own ugly, fake, reflection, because I know I'm not seeing myself and I'm scared to death of who I'll see instead. What kind of monster will look at me in a car's reflection? What kind of pathetic little birdie with big eyes stares at me in the reflection of my computer screen?
I know one thing for sure; I can't continue living like this. I want to see the reflection of who I really am. I want to be able to look myself into the eye and love who I see.